Relationships in University Part III: Love

 

Is love in the air? Or is it all a lie?

What is a university without good old romance? At least according to Tiktok, romance is in the university air. Or so we are led to believe. There are many types of romance: we’re just friends, the bad boy, it’s out of my league, and so on. However, believe it or not, romance is not in the air when you go to university. I would know, I have been in university for 3 years and the “love” that was promised by movies and social media was not reality.

How people explore other people

Have you ever wondered why people get into relationships? It is not some mystical or voodoo ritual. Here is how it goes.

1.      People meet

You may be classmates; you may see each other by accident and you may not know anything about them but you are interested. Here is where all love stories begin.

2.      You spend time together

 Now, this is the stage where some people fail or succeed. If the other party is interested you begin to find out if you like them.

3.      There is a spark

Now, either one party or both parties. If both people are interested, it’s easy enough one person confesses and the other accepts. If not, one person tries to convince the other party.

4.      Romance Start

You start going out. That’s it.

See? There is nothing very complicated about it. However, this begs another question.

 

Why do people like the idea of a relationship?

Some people believe it’s human nature. After all, we cannot spend all of our lives alone. Yes, we have friends but we need someone who understands us like no one else. We want to feel like we are not alone in this world. However, in reality, many people seek to get into a relationship because they want validation. You want someone to recognize that you, you want someone to value you or get the love that you feel like you have never received.  

 

Is it wrong to be in a relationship?

The answer to this is that: it’s your choice. Do you want to be in a relationship? That’s up to you. Do you not want to be in a relationship? That’s up to you too. I am not here to preach about what’s right or wrong. However, there are many misconceptions about romantic relationships that I have learned simply by observing what’s around me, and here are some important takeaways

 

1.     University is not about romance only

Yes, there is a big proportion of people looking for a special someone in university. There is also a big proportion there to enjoy university life.

2.     Certain types of people get into relationships

The fact is, you will see people who you never expected to engage in romance to be in a relationship.

3.     Everyone judges you if you are in a relationship

At first, you might feel like everyone is looking at you. But they are not, everyone is more interested in what to have for lunch.

So, what are university relationships like?

Breakups are Common

80% of relationships in university end after one semester, out of the remaining 20% only 5% stay together after university. Why?

Reason 1: There is no responsibility

Do you know why dating in university is fun? Because you don’t have to answer to anyone if it ends. You don’t have to think about the future.

Reason 2: Attachment not Love

Many have no prior experience or feel a thrill when coming to university and being with someone. But liking someone and loving someone are two different things.

Reason 3: Reality is Different  

 Some people are nice and sweet in a relationship but after 3 months and they reveal their true colors and you may not necessarily like that.

Relationships in university are completely different from what we think they are. While we have clarified many misconceptions in this article, there are many things we yet have to cover which we will discuss in our next article: Relationships in University Part IV: What to not do when you’re in love.