A Guide to Relationships in University: Friends

Find out how to navigate friendships, and avoid people who want to use you and make new friends!

Why is it so hard to make friends in university?

The reason why people have a hard time making friends in university is that more often than not people tend to approach you because they want something from you. I am not saying this is always the case but, 80% of the time it is. Whether be it help on their assignments, group projects, many people even want to be taught or have their meals paid for. It is an unfortunate reality but it is the truth. There any many hard truths about friendships you only realize after a few semesters.  

 

First Groups Don’t Last

There are people who remain friends till the end but often your first friend group will break apart, which is not a bad thing. In university, we tend to make fast friends and sometimes it works, and sometimes it doesn’t. It’s a part of the university experience.

 

You Will Fight

Disagreements are a normal part of any relationship; every person has different perspectives and opinions, after all. So, don’t be afraid and talk it out with the person you are having an issue with. Staying silent is not going to do wonders for you. Why? Holding it in will only make the problem seem worse. Communication is key to friendships.

 

You’ll See Drama

It doesn’t matter how many semesters pass, drama will always be there. So, my best advice is the following: don’t say anything bad about your classmates, only give out compliments and never criticize them on what they’re doing in uni. You’ll see it will help you in the long run.

 

Friends Outside Uni

Don’t forget about your friends from high school, they can be a great source of comfort! Make the effort to meet up with them and have fun. It is also safer to tell them all about that drama that you have been itching to tell someone about.

 

Realize your private time matters

Even the most extroverted individual can get tired of constantly hanging out with people. This is where you have to be brave and outline boundaries. Have some time in which you only spend it for yourself and have time you spend with your friends.

 

So, how do you find out who is your friend and who is not? Well, there are a few signs or “red flags” which usually help me identify something.

Red Flag #1: They only text you when something is due

Some people will ask you immediately, some will try to make some polite conversation before asking but they all want the same thing: your assignment.

Red Flag #2: They try to force their opinion

There is a special group of people who seem to think they’re always right. If they dismiss your opinion or try to argue that they are right, there’s something fishy.  

Red Flag #3: If they try to pay for everything

A lot of people will offer to pay for your food, or pick and drop you off in exchange for you will have to do their assignments. Not a good sign.

Remember, friendship does not mean you have to make your friend’s assignment or teach them the night before the exam. A friend does not contact you only when they need something from you. The sooner you realize this, the happier you will be in university.

So how do you make new friends?

It’s not like you can walk up to someone and be like “plis be my friend”. I mean, you could try but I am not sure it works.

Join Clubs

It can be scary to approach people first but working on a common goal together can help you hit it with someone easily. It is also a more natural way of approaching people.

Talk to your seniors

I know it might be scary and there are some ones you have to watch out for. But, generally speaking, seniors can be super reassuring!

Participate in Events

Be a part of as many extracurriculars as you can! You will get the opportunity to meet people and staff from different departments.

Befriend Vanmates/Busmates

Never underestimate the power of socializing with the people you commute with. I happened to find a job opportunity while casually conversing with a vanmmate.

Do you think any of this advice is helpful or relate to any of the advice I have given? Drop a comment below! 

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